trust is a joke

the one person that always listened to me even if he was mad at me he still listened even when we broke up and just a few weeks ago he listened to what i had to say but now i really just wanna talk like friends i don’t care if my friends call me stupid he would always let me talk his ear off till one of us fell asleep i know he made some poor choices and i did too i just want to vent and have my old best friend back with no feeling at all i feel like i lost all of the important people in my life who meet better people than me sometimes i just don’t know where to turn and i just cry till i fall asleep i’m just lost not sure what i want anymore or what to expect i hate the fact that i lost the one person that i trusted so much as my boyfriend and best friend yeah its been forever but there are times when i miss the old him we were so close i don’t really miss him as my boyfriend i just miss having him there for me and he knows i’m always here for him i just wish i knew the same i know i’m really stupid for letting him get to me so much i have way to memories that go through my head everyday like driving to work i always drive by both exits to his house i tell myself i’m stupid everyday for letting him get to me i just wanna be the friends that i know we can be i’m done venting even though i’m just basically talking to myself as always only if he knew how i really felt

beautycutelove:

I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box

Dear person I hate,

Dear person I like,

Dear ex boyfriend,

Dear ex girlfriend,

Dear ex bestfriend,

Dear bestfriend,

Dear *anyone*,

Dear Santa,

Dear mom,

Dear dad,

Dear future me,

Dear past me,

Dear person I’m jealous of,

Dear person I had a crush on,

Dear girlfriend,

Dear boyfriend,

(Source: waychil)

you do EVERYTHING with his family but when it comes to your kids you never spend time with them without him. i honestly can’t tell you how much i hate it he makes me hate my house the house i grew up inour house NOT HIS.everyday i get more and more fed up being here and there will come a day when you will have to choose he leaves or i will and trust me i will do whatever i have to do to leave cause clearly hes sooooo important to you since he moved in here so fucking fast. not even my ex pisses me off like he does and trust me my ex really pisses me off. i’m just waiting for that day when i just can’t take it anymore and today got really close clearly you can’t hear the anger in my voice or how i barely talk to you when your around him and when i do talk to you he just decides to join the conversation well i was fucking talking to him and never do the only words the probably come out of my mouth when i’m talking to him is “excuse me” when he is in my way which is all the time i’m rarely ever fucking happy now cause in his in my life and i want him out.

I need a break from all of this I’m really not a fan of you don’t try to get on my good side cause I will never like you just cause my mom likes you and your with her doesn’t mean I have to like you I can never go a day when you don’t bother me just your voice annoys me your part of the reason why I want to move away our family was fine without you here sometimes I just want to spend time with my mom and brotherWITHOUT YOUwhen I was little I though I had the perfect family then divorce happened which really did ruin me yeah you get 2 of each holiday which really isn’t fun as it sounds its a lot of running around you can never just relax with family then when one parent gets someone else you have to go see their family which I really don’t enjoy I hope when I find that one person I want to settle down with and have a family I don’t want to put my kids through what I went through as a kid and still dealing with so when I get married should i have two weddings? sometimes you just need to get away and do what you want to do and that’s what I’m thinking about I do love my family so much but I’m not getting any younger so I wanna go out and see what else is out there for me and also i need to get away from certain people that I really wish were not such a big part of my life.